Quoted....am I ?

(un)clear

2010-02-24T10:15:00.000-08:00

How can something be clear and unclear at the same time.. i am writing this post because i am standing at a position in life, where i have chosen a path for myself, out of total awareness, have invested myself,almost close to completely in it. this is not the time to stand at the cross roads and decide where to go..but a time to decide, or to think abouut the long road ahead, if it is leading to home or to hell.
Nothing can take me back for sure, but what confuses me is how should one decide what must be avoided, and must be discontinued.... :P if it is correct/incorrect ?.
May be at times you know it is wrong , but you still keep on moving ahead , postponing things for some later time. You witness similar stuff happening to people close to you, but fail to learn a lesson from them. Even if u would know that this may have happened to teach you something, you so badly want to overlook , the empathy you feel for them.
Clear is what the mind and the heart are.. as individual entities. They are doing things very effectively,but if you look at the bigger picture, you are dazed by the haze...
Nothing can be done about this confusion,is accepted,because, no matter what, life is the name of living with this double mindedness, risking ourselves through the maze , slowly yet steadily.

Dawning...yet again

2009-10-02T05:05:00.000-07:00

Wake up..!! Says the writer inside me, that has finally shown some signs of positive energy. It has risen from the dullness that had caught hold off it, had almost drove it back to the feckless times of pointless living, where thoughts don't manage to breathe and keep holding on to your minds , like kites clinging to the threads that leash them. I feel like a free bird (as off now... :P), like my thoughts , who has suddenly so much to say , mostly though without any special purpose or intention. The way i'm using our very own keyboard reminds me of one of my friend who says i type on it like playfully playing the piano..god knows what got though him , when he declared this style of typing as one of the most creative sides he associates with me.
Since the post is all about flying aimlessly in the sky like a kite, i indirectly ask you not to expect any concrete content out of the prose that is just filling words, or for that matter filling time ,in it, the times that it spent thinking and not writing , times that felt like they definetly deserve a note in my so called "secret diary". The best part about writing is you may keep on writing wihout reading it back, unlike speaking freely , where the opposite party's expressions may give you the required feedback.
For me writing is special very importantly because, i may look at it only when i want to look at my own self , at what i were , or what i am actually.I dont think i can count reasons of why was i unable to collect my words into a decent piece of writing, and i neither want to account for it, cause there is nobody who cares why did i stop writing, it is for none that i write..it is for my self gratification.
Inspiration to the knack of writing is something that comes from reading others' views and realising how simple it is to release all clutches and explore the world beyond the shell it finds around itself.

Sacred Space

2008-07-02T00:18:00.001-07:00

No, i'm not a swindler , who's used the famous column of the editorial page of Times Of India "sacred space" , as another heading for my post. Rather, This sacred space in my blog is being used here to highlight the article in today's TOI column on maths metaphysics. An amazing combination of morality and maths. This superb calculation is unbelievingly a matter of chance but at the same time is so true.
Have a look :

"What Equals 100 per cent?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100 per cent?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 per cent?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100 per cent.
How about ACHIEVING 101 per cent?
What equals 100 per cent in life?
Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help answer these questions:
If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
are represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+
11 = 98 per cent.

And K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+
7+5 = 96 per cent.

But A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+
4+5 = 100 per cent.

Then, look how far the Love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+
15+4 = 101 per cent.

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Love of God that will put you over the top! "

Is it just a matter of chance how this extra-ordinarily simple calculation gives the simplest yet deepest of a message possible?.

Spark Your Dreams

2008-06-02T11:30:00.000-07:00

What you see is what becomes your source of inspiration , your channel of knowledge. My eyes and my mind have seen two busy hands, an occupied mind, indulging in the art of management. It is said that a girl is closest to her father , and idealises him as she grows up into a mature individual. That is some what the scenario here, witnessing my dad amidst a group of intelligent looking heads , ranging from people older to him in the years of life, as well as standing higher in the scales of education , modestly and seemingly acknowledging his words. So the spark arises from here...the ambience of my family smells, and tastes its' daily life in threads of planning, division of work , time utilisation and all those great management fundas. Now what i am to realise out of all this is that , it is not with much effort that it comes to me,as if i've imbibed it from my genes, finding myself totally with the flow i have started to believe and "imagine " myself as one of the directors or chief executives of a good respectable company, presiding over a meeting in a conference room..(hehe..too much too mention hai naa?? kuch zyada hi ho gaya.. jus kidding ;). This is a dream seen with open eyes and NOW is the time to test. The clock has started ticking and if the seeds of the fruit that i had bore in my mind as an adolescent are to bear a fruit, then there is no looking back and here is the my chance of stealing it , of proving my caliber , my worth and most of all ,of fueling the spark that had once ignited my mind. Yes , i can very well say that it's a dogs' chase for C.A.T. ( one of the most prestigious national - level competitive management tests in India.) , the only difference that sets me apart from the other 80% aspirants will be that it's their stake in a rat race for an M.B.A degree, and mine towards my dreams.
I hope i don't scare the hell out of you people reading this, if one of you like me is an aspirant too.!

Well, all d best to myself...and others included.!

Life is all about....moving on

2008-04-19T11:58:00.000-07:00

"Weightlessness trigerred"...says my new custom message on google talk. This is not a diagnosis , rather a symptom to a stonger , healthier, and peaceful life where in one enjoys being unaffected by worldly up's and down's ,pulls & troughs. You tend not to be influenced by the pandemonium all around you that tries its full force on you , so that you crumble under it , succumb to its pressure and say that life has taken its toll on you and its full of problems , disguises, and ruthless individuals who have business none other than targetting you as their victim..!

Now lets see what causes such a great saturation stage to come. Since all of us are bound to experience what we have to in life, so there is no escapre from anything whatsoever as such, but still it's easier to sail through when you understand and soak-in the fact that this is a part and parcel of life and its NOT all that life has to offer..and believe in the mantra of "moving on", loving yourself to an extent that doesnt let you fall prey to these external elements of evil.This is a big leaning that results in unlimited gratification. Just like people say " toofan se pehle ki shanti"...i would describe such inert state of the mind and the heart as well as " toofan k baad ka sannata...!".
No leaning is achieved without experience. So if you think you're tired of seeing yourself being surrounded by troubles all the time, do take your time off and think off your stand towards life .

If you dont seem to find an answer and you have a vague , ambiguous image of life.. u haven't had enough..trust me..! and you can take more of it. On the other hand , if you luckily get the hang of thinking the other-way "outside the box" and see yourself standing and witnessing the people of this cruel world from a "glass house" , being a part of it but still not being a part . Then you get the knack , and feel of how mere stupid issues take your heads off, why are people so damn fussy, trapped in cobwebs and somehow don't even want to get out of 'em? Now , after realising what crap causes the frictions in the lives of humans , you tend to feel a sense of pleasure and relax concluding that life is all about " moving on ".

Well , as far as i am concerned, i am writing this not because i boast of possesing this capability of salvation, but rather because i know where i stand and where i ought to reach so as to feel weightless..!!

Book marks in the Book of Life

2008-02-15T12:19:00.000-08:00

Emotions unturned, video reels replayed, pictures gazed on still, its the game of memories. No matter how much you try, the vicious circle of memories the past experiences hover around still, peeking at you , every once a while from absolute nowhere. If i try fighting it out, how much ever i scold myself, sway my head each time it lingers on to those thoughts, teach, deviate , it replays again and again. Who said it's easy and time is a healer.! As long as you're not given a huge jolt of a lifetime , lessons remain unlearnt, questions remain unanswered, the heart stays disgruntled...busy twisting and musing over every single gesture, word , confrontation, a glance of the past it has witnessed. Writing after quite a long span of time today i feel ready to share a fairly clear expression of my fuzzy mind, dazed by the surprises and unexpected secrets of life. Just had a talk with one of my friends, who says " i try hard fighting my ego but.....its difficult to forget after all i am a human". So the query remains the same, is time really a healer or is it that certain things are simply meant to happen in life . Pages although keep turning ahead but there always a bit of the paper folded in some strangled , untorn, pages of the book of life - that is yet to be written and completed.

virtual geniuses

2007-11-13T09:18:00.000-08:00

It is so easy to be a third person, and even easier to advice as geniuses, making others feel that you have all potential wisdom doomed to be, at this age.
But how wrong do we prove ourselves everytime we undergo the same testing procedures, and then coming in the active position sharing the situations grieves and joys, we actually land up doing ditto errors and reactions,analysed by us sometime or the other. Thus the term "virtual genius" that i use to describe us humans. Politically correct but practicaly still a novice . This gives a lesson to learn : never trust what you hear until you've seen it or felt it yourself .
The above is a contradictory statement negating all those great novelists and preachers ...the shiv kheras and stephen covey's .....not excluding the excess no. of so called saints and sadhus all over the world...especially India. Ya ,but howsoever it may affect the reader of this blog ,with due respect to the followers of the above "next to all mighties", i feel that they are also somewhere or the other victims of their own preaches.People who do not have the time listening to themselves or to introspect oneself ,find refuge under them and satiate their aspirations of approaching the all mighty. Thus ending this post at a point where a heated discussion might just erupt....any body who wants to put forth their viewpoints on this so very vulnerably handled delicate issue,may leave their comment.!!

VISUAL PROFILE.

2007-10-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

This is really an intersting way of finding out about an individual's personality, likes, dislikes....

http://friends.imagini.net/shubhangi

Needless to say, that most of us keep looking for such kinda websites unless n untill we find one that reflects something about ourselves that we actually want to see ,n agree with fairly..! Amongst the ocean of forwarded mailz , see now i'll deviate from the current issue to another interesting fact and talk about a bell that rung in my mind about the latter.
Now that nobody had actually time to write mails to one another, sending forwards just makes us stay connected to the other plenty in the contact lists just by seeing their mail ID'S display on our screens time n again, and we can say " atleast woh touch main to hai through mails..not like u yaad bhi nai karti mujhe !! ". :D funny...but very true.
Ya ,so i was actually talking about mails relating to introspection that flood our mail boxes every second day , and amongst those,this mail about knowing ur visiual D.N.A..makes sense to mme..because it tests your taste of art and that is quite close to one's attitude towards life n one's temperament . So people check this site out if u r too lazy to sit back give a thought to your ownself; and for those who wanna know more about me jus visit ma profile ;)

I,me, myself

2007-09-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

Your first reaction after reading the title of this post would have been - she seems to be either a real self centered freak or a deep rooted desolated loner. well then being very frank m none of these, just a girl who seems to find solutions to her owns problems within and around...somewhere or the other i believe that there are actually no problems in life, there are just tough circumstances that makes u stronger day by day that you have to fight. But what to do when the people aroung you get affected by the act of self- sufficiency..! its good as well as bad for me. being on that side of the court from where both sides of the games are visible..people say i'm diplomatic..yes i am!! And i don't think there is any harm in being this kind, because atleast in my case i don't choose to be diploamtic but when i can make out what the fuss is about and i completely agree with none of the parties then why should i succumb to any one. one of the advantages out of many of being to different places and staying with various kind of people is that u know yes this is also one breed of mankind and then ofcourse u can find out a way of handling that person or that situation. So the answer to me, myself turns out to be just a consolation message to myself that dear there is nothing wrong with you and your diplomacy and being self sufficient is what i am but mind you not self-obsessed..!! because after all i am a human and do need shoulders to cry on but yes seeing the world around ...now i feel evry body is so packed with their own tensions that noone wants to approach persons who seem to endlessly fiddle with their own issues and are never able to come outta it. there is this new trend that has floated : " all of us have problems its just that mine are more important than yours..!! "

justice or no justice?

2007-08-08T11:20:00.000-07:00

How simple is it to say that every thing or event in life has a reason behind it , a virtue.. but is it also true for our feelings?i mean , how can one justify as to why he/she is feeling the way he/she actually does...practically thinking (leaving apart my own situation) , if i were asked such a question by one of my friends i could have made 'em listen to me for atleast quite a while may be convincing them or minimally bringing them to a point where they have no arguement to put forward.But now m standing at the same place where i am asking this q to myself.That is is every feeling justifiable? is it necessary to know y these particular thouights pop up in your mind.people say i think a lot( ya , i do ) accepted. That is because i know most of the times what i think is about my ownself. this deep rooted thinking is attributed to self, it is me who is analysing thoughts, feelings, words anmd activities so much that when i don't get an answer to them i become restless and that is when i actually need guidance and support,an ear to listen an answer, or a keyboard in the present case to just keep typing and not look at the screen for what is coming up. Infact it's blogging that is a channel to the mind nowadays.what is a blog? a compilation of ur mind, what u think , what u feel and is generally required when u dont want nebody else accept ur own mind to break your chain of thoughts. hmm...this is the logic 1 state now. perhaps most of the times either the reason y you don't write your thoughts down is:
1. you don't know where to start and where to end.
2. you have an ear to patiently listen and at the last comment sensibly on the ( confusing , leading to the same thing crap) , he he , funny i state my thoughts as crap, because untill and unless some one is in the same state as i am what the hell will he/she know what's going on in my mind, and even if they do as a third person they can easily say that it is just a simple case of a "confused, tired mind overwhelming with emotions, who doesn't half of the time know know what he/she is saying".
3.you think that this is a tool for the biggies who have no other good job to do oder than open up their personal lives amongst avid readers, and you are pretty happy leading ur life the way it is going.4.(hey cool yar, i have so many reasons for ppl against blogging,and i guess my post is about justification of actions..!!)hmm.. last but not the least, those who don't want to get into these serious thoughts and jo bahar se hi mandir ki ghanti bajaa ke thode tears bahaa ke nikal lete hain!
uff...come to think of it ..my first blog shows i was one of those majority stated above, and possibly the second category, not that i don't have nebody now, but there can't be any 1 all the time na? and thoda encouragement and inspiration is also required for posting .

Dance like no one's watching..

2007-07-04T23:59:00.000-07:00

This post is entirely and truely dedicated to the passion I hold for dancing. There is nothing as good as dancing can be..although some may believe "what joy do people get in shaking their hips amidst gazing eyes..?" but, follow your heart is what i have to say. I dance for myself..( not being modest)!! when i dance it's got to give u a perception of my heart in it and my expressions attached to my actions,wanting to pour in all d energy i have . I may not be very good with choreography and versatile at generating steps but when it's the rythm i'm bang on...! Be it a slow , peppy hip-hop, folk or for that matter even a contemporary electronic sort of music piece i'd love to tap my foot to it n close my eyes n imagine 'ma self danciong to the tunes, with a spot light on me..( some 1 else can also join ;-) , but only on one pretext tht u've gotto be concentrating on my eyes n not on where we r heading..i'll make u dance,don worry). hmmm..wow i feel d blood flow faster thru my veins wen i hear my fav. nos. and jus wanna jump to the dance floor..but kya karein can't always do that right?! As a kid mum asks u to perform and dance in front of a group of aunties...back then inspite of all d willingness..he he u knw wat..but then jus one extra bit of coaxing n m dere ...n god help u if den u want me to stop.! lols..
http://www.paradiseawaits.com/Dance.html

it's just us...

2007-06-20T11:05:00.000-07:00

This one goes for u ...maeti (my lovely , awesome elder sis).

shes strong as a mountain,
when im feelin low n weak,
shes a scented soft towel,
on ma tear stained cheek,
shes got bitter words ready,
weneva i stray,
shes a perfect navigator,
wen i lose ma way, we smile,
we laugh we sulk we dream,
we go on a diet for a minute n then pig out on strawberries n cream,
shes ma angel,
shes ma sis and watches me as i walk,
wen happiness is trapped, shes ma key to the lock,
she giggles and she sings and luks cute wen she fights,
wot the hell will i do if you ever go outta ma sight?.
love you SIS,
from me

Trying to be hollow..!

2007-06-19T10:45:00.000-07:00

How is it when you keep on absorbing a feeling inside you but still want that ur heart doesn't sink with it and remains hollow and permeable to all or for that matter any such feelings that may be termed as stupid, worldly or temporary.? huh..practically impossible ain't it...? ya, all this is just bookish and virtual and biggies say once you attain this state you have attained the state of salvation.
most of us come across variety of feelings within our hearts through out the day and rarely ever try to analyse them as to y do they emerge or is it radical?
Today,the 13th of july...i had a dilemma and a stubborn attitude or shall i say i forced myself into being a bit stubborn and indignant on my decision. but to my surprise a false/ forced feeling is so hard to maintain..uff ..i had a dilemma through out as to whether i'm right or not..forcing myself into something .( but now i think i've got the answer and the stubborn attitude - most famous of us girls, wins over The very emotional Shubhangi ranjan.) and as of now writing this piece of my mind i'm trying to find a way of acting like a permeable membrane that seeps all feelings in/out like an I/O interface and remains unperturbed. gosh..!! but it seems the walls of the heart become seemingly weaker as and when any such emotion creeps in like a wave of water pushing the membrane hard each time ..more n more.
The fact- the more analytic our mind gets the more dangerous it gets for the poor heart and gets better for strenghening our brains... he he he. 'coz if we land up analysing our feelings each time they arrive.. spoils all mood 'coz general observation says these thots creep in only wen it is a negative sort of emotion n not the contrary...and hard to resist but this analytic brain is wat the employers nowadays wack their tongue for.. n are ready to shell their money for . funny isn't it..?
now u'll say channelise ur thoughts and don't become an emotional fool because this is D 21st century and things work this way here. . uhh...this leaves me back to square one.....Trying to b HOLLOW...

Is self worth measurable..?

2007-05-29T21:58:00.000-07:00

As you grow up as a human being , you give urself grades on how well u've done in the 'n' no. of fields u face in life , and dis makes u critically analyse ur worth for every individual u meet or more so to those who are important to u. But is it easy, or should i say who decides whether our basis of crediting self-worth, the way we judge it is correct or not..??

i think most of the times it is our gratification level that gives us an answer to the questions like...how imporatnt am i, do i do justice to somebody's sacrifice or concern ?? if yes, how do i payback their debts and gestures and if no, hw do i tell 'em that m nt worth it..!

But even for once we don't realise that v r all worth all d good as well as badd things happening to us in life as they come, because we're all destined to b here as we are...as one of the firmest believes of mine is "whatever happens in one's life happens for the good." so y constantly poke ur nose into ur responsibilities towards another persons' gestures and feelings for u, and mind ya if this is happening with u , U r bound to b worth it because every one has got their individual levels of self-respect( l'll in some and xtra-large in oders) so they are responsible for their actions and if thy don feel d need to make u feel worthy then thy'll stop giving that air to u....
but deep inside i'll tell u the truth after all who doesn' need attention , v all are somewher or d oder craving for the attention and love of oders..just that some of us succumb to it and do an xtra bit to achieve it..and the others dont and thy let the attention come if it has to..the latter face wid d above decribed problem of whether or not i'm worth the atention given.

wait a min,,,shubhangi, don u think that u're moving around the problem and not coming to a proper end of ur discussion...? hmmm....i hope i knew wat wud b an appropriate solution the q. of realising self-worth..! well, ahhh...as soon as i am enlightened by 1 i'll post here..

bigg things often happen accidentally..!

2007-05-24T00:36:00.000-07:00

i think its called ...goin wid d flow ...!!
i wanted to post a comment on dis blog of one of ma frenz,wen dis very difficult to break ,chain of google accounts n crap..took hold of me n grabbed me in its so called fascinating world of personal blogs..! n c here i am..neva thought of ne sorta title for a blog but see..jus took me a few secs to cum up wid it.. he he..! funny..na?!
lets c if this instantaneous creation becomes a hit with me or .... oops.. i fail to recollect my thoughts n put 'em to words on the keyboard..or perhaps one more possibiltiy is i don bother to re-visit this site n forget even tht somewhere someday i had created a blogg..!
hey..shubhangi.its nt a big deal..just a blog ..not a wonderworld tht u've entered..its where ppl wrap their views into nicely framed sensible sentences and wait fr oders to criticize or waste their time viewing it...(looks like m giving these blog ppl a bad impression by mmhhm.....oki...atleast i can b goodie abt it for some posts to begin with it..)
cya till d next post comes..( who knows may b in a few hours after all "an idle mind is a ----------..." u knw wat..?!)